Relationships in Recovery

I literally took my Sponsors advise on not dating in the first year of sobriety. That was a blessing because it gave me the time to get to know myself. The real ME. I am now over a year sober and in fact I am done with my second year and working on my third year, so my Sponsor told me to make a list of everything I wanted in a man/relationship and then when I was done to turn that list around on myself and see if I could give all those listed items back to a relationship. Wow that was a hard one.

Going back to the point of this "relationships in recovery" and how it relates to me today. I once heard in a meeting that if you were looking for a relationship in recovery that "the odds are good BUT the goods are odd." That makes me chuckle every time I hear it and it is true. I have steered clear of all the guys in AA romantically. I did have my little AA crushes but I brushed them aside and would later say to myself "What was I thinking when I crushed on so-so?" Yesterday, one of those early sobriety crushes started text flirting with me. I, of course, flirted back. It now looks like we are going to go to dinner and a movie. I am freaking out. That nasty thing called "fear" is rearing it's nasty head. I have learned through working the Steps that I make most of my decisions based on fear. I have been analyzing this whole situation way too much. One part of me likes my life today and I feel at this point in time that getting involved with someone would just complicate what I have. Another part of me is going over the "what if's." It goes to show that my head is off and running over the silliest things.

Another problem of relationships in recovery is the fact that if a relationship does happen and later on down the road the two people break up, one of the people involved might stop going to meetings to avoid that other person. Meetings are so important and I have seen people go back out (and drink or start using) when they stop going to meetings. Alcoholism is a disease and meetings are the medicine like a diabetic takes insulin.

I have decided to go out with "D" with no expectations and an open mind. I will be posting updates on how this one plays out.

Again, I will end this with another AA acronym... FROG = Fully Rely On God!